Things I learned on my trip to Zion National Park:
- When you get shot through the heart, you're too late.
- iPod Idol is the best game ever invented.
- Doing yoga next to a river first thing in the morning is one of the most relaxing things there is.
- Birthday cakes can be made out of wood.
- If you want to make friends, just give them fruit loops.
- I can do hard things, like climb Angel's Landing or hike/scramble Hidden Canyon.
- There once was a black snowman named Jeff who sunk all the way to China.
- When you bring a tent to camp in, don't forget the stakes.
- Switchbacks are of the devil. And I hate them passionately.
- There is such thing as alligator jerky.
- Jared really likes ostriches.
- Old people can have amazingly tone calves.
- When you wear the same pair of socks for 5 days straight, your feet smell really bad.
- Taylor Swift's "I Knew You Were Trouble" is the BEST song to sing/scream in the car.
- Not everyone hikes at the same pace.
- Goats are so in right now.
- When you wear your sunglasses at night, you are ready to roll.
- You can pay your tithing while giving your talk in church.
- It can get really, REALLY cold at night by a river.
- Playgrounds are the funnest in the dark.
- My bonnie lies over the ocean.
- People sometimes don't like it when you drink mountain dew.
- Chicken Little poops donkeys.
- When you sleep on a slope, you end up in really funky positions when you wake up.
- Lots of people need chapstick. Few people have their own.
- Jeff makes really funny faces.
- Asian people are the best kind of people.
- When you sing and make noises in a bathroom, everyone can hear you.
- Ali Hancey really really really likes to talk. Especially in long car rides.
- Warm showers are seriously the most amazing thing ever after a really cold night.
- Some people have "harpooning a whale" added to their bucket list.
- When you wear perfume while camping, people think that you're simply attempting to cover up just how bad you actually smell.
- Seth is randomly hilarious.
- Making laughing-style assignments is hilarious.
- Sometimes roller coasters are disguised as tunnels in the mountains.
- "Probs" and "tots" are now words.
- Ali Hancey does the worm REALLY good.
- Sometimes its funny when people swear.
