What is Real and What Isn't

Its late and I have alot of feelings inside of myself right now and the only thing I can think to do to let them out is to blog. Depending on how I feel in the morning will determine if I delete this post or not. How exciting.

My sister always complains that I write too much about guys on my blog. Perhaps this is true, but its basically one of the only hobbies I have these days. I am stuck here, waiting for my life to begin and therefore, guys are on my mind quite a bit. So, if you don't want to read about what I have to say about stuff like this, close this window now. Simple as that.

I know I am young. I know I'm not perfect. But I am learning. I am trying to be the best person I can be, but I make mistakes sometimes. Making mistakes is a requirement for getting to know yourself, I think. Sometimes, you have to make mistakes to figure out what is real and what isn't. The hardest part is to not judge others on their mistakes. What's right for most people in most situations isn't right for everyone in every situation. Real morality lies in following your own heart and everyone's heart is different. Sometimes, that's hard to remember.

I don't really know where I am going with this. Its just kind of inside of me. I'm in the situation this bizarre yet common situation where I have fallen for a guy who had become a close friend to me and he unfortunately does not feel the same for me. At all. Surprisingly, being the way I am, its so difficult that it makes being mere friends nearly impossible for me. I'm just not that strong. I am craving summer vacation like I never have before to get away and forget those feelings. I am probably not making any sense and that is okay with me at the moment because life doesn't make sense sometimes and I think its that way on purpose. Its all in the Lord's hands. We can't always see what He wants for us; we just have to sit back and let him take the reins and trust that He knows what He's doing. Yes, easier said than done, but done it will be.

Its time to find a new hobby.