I'm not going to lie. The last few weeks have kind of been a bit rougher than normal. I won't go into details as to what's going on in my personal life. However, can I just share with you what I've been realizing and what I have learned?
Wait, why am I asking? This is my blog. I do what I want! Therefore, I AM going to share with you something that I think is pretty dang cool.
A little bit of background:
My whole life has been spent going back and forth between God and the world. I choose one and then I choose the other. I go back and forth. Its a ridiculous cycle, one that I am pretty confident has come to an end. There is more happiness with God. More love, understanding, comfort, and peace. God is on your side and you are on His. Alternatively, you can be on the world's side, but the world WILL NEVER BE ON YOUR SIDE. I have developed an amazing relationship with God that I've never had before (or anywhere near as brilliant.) For the first time in my life, I have felt that my relationship with Him is no longer one sided. I have turned my entire life over to Him and have given Him my heart. In turn, He has provided me with more peace than I imagined was possible to feel.
What I Have Come to Realize:
I would like to take a segment out of an email I sent earlier today to my two missionary siblings.
(In reference to one of the trial I am facing right now.....) "
This decision has been hard to make but I know that this is the will of the Lord. Having that knowledge has been AMAZING!!! This should be one of the hardest experiences I've ever experienced but its not. Its SO much easier than I thought it would be because I know that I am doing what the Lord wants and, for the first time in my life, I finally feel like I am EXACTLY where He wants me to be. I wish I could elaborate more on this awesome feeling that I have but there simply are not words for it. All I can say is that the Lord is mindful of me and He is mindful of YOU! He's also mindful of those you come into contact with each and every day. If you are meant to touch their heart, you will. If He wants them to be open minded and listen with their hearts about what you are teaching, it will happen. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Please remember that when you are doubting yourself and feeling down. EVERY DAY IS MEANINGFUL!!! Just because you can't see it doesn't mean you aren't helping better others.
Just remember those few lines of "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go":
It may not be on the battle's front my Lord will have need of me......By a still small voice He calls to paths I do not know.
If there is anything I have learned over the last few weeks, its this: Do not try to interpret what the Lord is trying to do or who He's trying to mold you into. Just accept His will and make the best of it. HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!!!!"
And so it is. By writing this post, I want the world to make NO mistake as to who I am and who's side I am on. I am not going to try to tell anyone how to live their life or try to preach to anyone. But this is my decision. This is how I have chosen to live my life. And for the first time, I will be steadfast and immovable.
